Not Smoking

It has been a long time since I posted here. Right after the last time, I went in the hospital with chronic COPD and the flu. I heard the doctor say "We are losing her. Where is her family?" To this day I am not if he was talking about me or someone else. The next thing I knew all my chilcren and grandchildren were at the hospital to say goodbye.

I have a friend (Donna Sundblad, who is an author and fellow editor at Epress) who contacted a lot of our authors, and other Writers Village University members, from all over the world, to pray for me.

As I am writing this you know I made it through with the love of my family and prayers of people whose only contact with me is through emails, manuscripts, and people who take my Worldbuilding class at WVU.

I had been in the hospital many times over the last few years but this is the first time I managed not to light up when I got out. After too many tries I have managed to quit cold turkey after 54 years.

I think what made me really want to quit was the love I felt from my family and the fact that I would be leaving them and I wanted to be here for them. My older grandchildren Amber and Adam (20 and 24) have been here for me, making sure I have what I need, driving me where I need to go and even putting up with my ill humor on bad days. but knowing I love them.

Joshua and Matt live in a different county but I do get to see them when their father brings them over. and then there is the baby. Grace is nine months old and already starting to walk.

For them I knew I wanted to live. For myself I stopped smoking so I could be here for them.

I smoked. I talked to the doctor's office today and told them. The pulmonary therapist said to figure out how many I am smoking a day and then cut back a half cigarette a week. She also told me that most people who quit cold like I did go back within a month. Now, I will start over again. I thought I was smoking about 6 a day but realized that I smoked 10 yesterday and so far 8 today.

I will not smoke more than two tonight.

Tomorrow I will only have nine and a half.

Well, another day and still no cigerettes.

I Love me.

I am a happy, healthy non-smoker.

I, Joan McNulty Pulver, desearve a smoke free life.

Those are my affirmation for this week. I will say them several times a day - I will stop smoking.

I can do this!

Still not smoking and doing better

February 15, 2009 - I have to keep this up. No smoking. I am a happy healthy non-smoker. I need to keep saying affirmations to rid myself of this awful addition. I know most of the nicotine is already out of my body but the psychological and emotional dependency is still there. I have to overcome this. NO!

I WILL OVER COME THIS BECAUSE I AM A STRONG WOMAN AND I CAN DO ANYTHING!

I have the power to do this. I will use these affirmations to create my own healing.

I can and will do this.

The beginning

02/13/09 - Friday the 13th - I guess I really should have started this journey on the first day of the changes in my life. I was very sick on February 2, 2009. At 4:30 the next morning my grandson called 911 and I was transported to the hospital with COPD and possibly an attack of Congestive Heart Failure. I could hardly breathe, my oxygen levels were down in the low 80's (they should be in the 90's) and my blood pressure was so low they had to take me off most of my heart meds to get it regulated.

I take heart meds to regulate my heart and diuretics to help dispense the fluid buildup in my body. I am not sure which came first in this case, the low oxygen levels or the low blood pressure. Each one causes the other. At any rate, I couldn't catch my breath enough even make it from my room to the rest room.

Now, I have to get back to where I was or even better. That would be nice. More later.

Bedridden

2/9/09 - Right now I am virtually bedridden. I get out of breath just going to the potty next to my bed. I can’t even get off the 4 liters of oxygen to go to the rest room. This is very scary. I want my life back.

I usually use 2 liters at night and none during the day and am active. I need to get back to that. I need to stop smoking! I need to live a better life. I will lead a cleaner, better, life so I can be there for my family. I love my children and grandchildren and want to be there for them. How am I going to accomplish this?

2/12/09 - I got out of the hospital last night. I am able to walk with two liters of oxygen but still get out of breath easily, and have to walk very slow. My son came by last night and brought me a DVD entitled You Can Heal Your Live. It is all about making affirmations and believing in yourself and how you feel about yourself.

The first thing is "love" yourself. This concept seems kind of funny me. Not, haha funny but weird funny. We spend our lives loving other people, our mates, our children, our friends but I never thought about loving myself. I mean I know my kids love me. I have friends who care a lot about me and would miss me if I left this plane but I never thought about loving myself.

I am basically a good person, happy to help others who need a hand. I was always a team player, sometimes to my detriment, when I worked in an office, and now in the electronic publishing business. There isn't much I wouldn't do for Margaret, Donna and the other editors on the ePress staff.

I need to get to bed now and get some rest. More on the self healing tomorrow. Tonight I say my affirmations befors I go to sleep.

I love myself
I am a happy, healthy non-smoker
I have a lot to live for
I love myself

Hurricane Faye

Hi all,

Well, it is hurricane season again. Of course it has been here for the last six weeks but this is the first threat we have had this year in Florida. Faye is coming but we have no clue as to when and where it will hit. I looks, right now at least, that southern Florida will be the worst hit but once it goes into the gulf it is anyones guess. Over the years since I moved to sunny Florida, I have seen hurricanes come and go, some doing lots of damage and other hardly any.

Several years ago they predicted Charlie would hit Tampa head-on. At the last minute it turned east, much further south than was anticipated and Charlotte and Orange counties were hit the worst. Well, I am waiting for the 11 a. m. update. Let's see how close they come this time.